Through Broken Rose-Colored Glasses

the_nanz

i'm bored. i'd been promoted to the Escalations Team in my call center and because there are hardly any escalated calls here, i am bored half to death.

escalated calls are telephone calls addressed to supervisors by customers who no longer wish to talk to a phone representative because they feel that the latter are either incompetent or were rude to them. that's the kind of calls i am supposed to get.

i don't get a lot of these calls but when i do, they are supposed to be the hardest cases to crack, and well, yes they are. so not only am i subjected to boredom but also to cold dread about what kind of call i would possibly get the next time.

i see my position as a golden opportunity to show my company what i am worth. i dunno why i feel restless when i should be glad i have next to nothing to do. hmm... that's probably it. i feel like i'm unemployed.  >_<; 

the_nanz

i miss Aki. he used to manage the band i was in. the band has since split up and i haven't seen him since, but i do miss him. he's so good-looking and sweet... hmm... i'm being superficial again, i think. i must realize by now that such people aren't for me. i was meant to be my myself because i am not supposed to ruin another person's life by being with them.

i wish it could have worked out. but then, he and i have different interests -- he likes gothic stuff and i think goths are losers because they would rather be in the netherworld than here. yep, definitely being superficial again... i dunno but maybe i just like the idea of him, not really him, as us usual. why don't i fall in love?

the_nanz

tomorrow night's shift's gonna be the last before i go on my weekly off again. i don't really have any plans, just the same old thing -- Jdrama and basically sleeping. I wish i had a good book to read, but I don't want to read if I can't read it continuously all week long. It's a pretty weird idea, but you know me.

 Ma says that Matet is going to be at our house come April. well, I can't really stop it, and i think it's about time we ended the feud anyway -- anyways  I'm the only one who's hating, and the whole family is behind her so I might as well get with the program.

I went to SM Molino earlier to get something to eat, but I ended up having a chicken platter, a buko pandan dessert, a buko pandan shake, a potato salad, and an iced tea. I'm stuffed and pretty happy, hehehe. I left SM at five in the afternoon exactly and I was at the office byt seven in the evening.

Dice asked me to go with her to 7-11 Valero to get a chocolate bar. i also ended up with one and a chocolate milk. >_<  i gave the bar to Christy though, and just had the chocolate milk.

Workforce misplotted our seating arrangement again, so we had to lug all our stuff from the 31st up to the 32nd. not only that, the IDs they gave us for tonight's log-in were no good either. my boss is ticked off because we're behind schedule and we're supposed to be taking our exams today, too. there's basically nothing i can do about it so i'm just sitting idly, waiting for them to resolve it so i can get back to work. well, that's it for today, unless maybe i'll feel like updating later. it's not dull, i must say. :p 

the_nanz

i'm so befuddled i can't even see straight. and no, i could only wish i were exaggerating.

one by one my classmates from high school and college are starting families and here i am, still single, fiercely independent, needing no one but also not particularly needed by anyone.

it's such a melancholy thought and i have always considered sadness such a self-serving emotion that i normally would be opposed to sharing it, but this is just a blog and people have every option to not stop and read so i don't quite feel so bad about this.

i guess i am a little jealous. you see, there are people i would like to see care about me but they don't. it's probably they don't see me as needing them, or i think i don't need them so much either as want them; and if there is anything i know, people need to be needed, and i don't seem to be the needy type. and no, i have no wish to become the type. i'd rather be the model of strength no one would need to care about than pretend to be weaker than i was. i have it all down pat, except how to be human. i'll just have to stay at the sidelines and laugh at everybody else, all the while thinking that i was actually the butt of the joke.